The Learning Curve

The first round of the NBA playoffs are coming to a conclusion. And what have we learned about the uneventful and prosaic games?

Thanks to Amare Stoudemire we learned that fire extinguishers really do quell fires. Even if that fiery temper is better served on the court where Amare was more tepid monk than incendiary leader. But hey, it is better to have broken glass than have never broken glass at all. Although, his run in with the glass case was one of the few times in the series that a Knicks player actually crashed the glass.

Speaking of crashing. Andrew Bynum has been throwing his weight around in a positive and not so positive light. In a mediocre showing on Tuesday night Bynum choked, shoved, and manhandled his way to a 16 pt. 11 rebound game in a Laker loss at the hands of the Denver Nuggets. This coming after his pre-game comments in which Bynum stated that close out games are pretty easy. Now with a 3-2 lead in the series The Lake Show head back to Denver and hopefully avoid a winner-take-all Game 7 back in Los Angeles. But even worse for the Lakers, Kobe Bryant has been diagnosed with a mean stomach bug and is a game-time decision. I think Andrew Bynum’s comments made all those apart of the Laker contingents sick to their stomachs.

Then there lie the Chicago Bulls. No literally, there lie the Chicago Bulls. The #1 seed in the East has seemingly become another victim of the dreaded injury bug that has plagued most teams in the NBA this season. Victims of this truncated season that has left many watching their team from luxury boxes high above the floor. Most notably Derrick Rose, who blew out his knee in the Bulls first game against the Philadelphia 76ers. Two games later Chicago lost their wildly charismatic center Joakim Noah to a bad ankle sprain in Game 3. Noah hopes to play tonight in a pivotal Game 6 and an elimination game for the Bulls who are down 3-2 in the series.

Maybe they can take solace in the fact that league commissioner David Stern is deliberating about playing less regular season games next year. This week Stern explained to the media that the shortened training camps and player conditioning may have contributed to the innumerable amount of ailments seen around the NBA. Essentially back-pedaling and flip-flopping quicker than Mitt Romney at a gay pride rally. Not a week ago David Stern stated that he did not believe that there was any connection between the compressed season and the rash of injuries throughout his league. Thank you for not calling us stupid to our faces Mr. Stern.

And while stupid is as stupid does. The Orlando Magic were eliminated from the playoffs this week by the upstart Indiana Pacers (Who by the way may give the Miami Heat more than what they are bargaining for in the second round). The offseason begins just like the season started for Orlando. A soap opera enflamed by the cognitive dissonance of its star center Dwight Howard. Who seems to be a smiling, fun-loving, cape wearing guy on the outside. But in the shadows weans a petulant, immature, and self- absorbed child who had no compunction about destroying the Magic’s locker room and eventually their season. And there sits Stan Van Gundy. Eating a hot dog amidst the hurricane. Watching the house he help build being swept away. But the way the Orlando front office ran the house, I am sure Stan has no problem blowing in the wind.

And there is the NBA playoffs up to this point. The big dogs running the kennel. The Yorkshire Terriers shaking in the corner hoping it all ends sooner than later. Not much to learn here. Just waiting for the Terrier to throw us a curve.