Steph Curry to Donate DNA to Science

Golden State Warriors’ superstar Stephen Curry will be examined by scientists in the offseason.

Stephen Curry is the NBA’s biggest superstar.

Not only is he the premier show on the court, but his brand is branching out into other areas. He’s getting name dropped in rap songs, he’s becoming a fashion icon, and he’s partnering up with a variety of companies with a wide spectrum of products and interests. Basically. he’s everywhere.

When does he sleep? How does he have the time and energy to film so many commercials and make all these appearances while still practicing for his day job? And when he does step on the court, it’s unbelievable. And I mean that in a literal sense. Sometimes I, personally, don’t believe what I’m seeing–it feels like this is a dream. It’s not humanly possible for someone to be that good, right?

The short, easy answer is that he worked hard to fine tune is skills over many years in order to get to this point. He practiced over and over again, watching film and making adjustments in order to be the best player he could be (which coincidentally, is the best player in the entire world). Even then, it’s still difficult to understand how such a small, unimposing figure can launch (and hit) from beyond thirty feet with ease consistently.

Greats like LeBron James and Michael Jordan are incredible because of their physical presence and elite athleticism. They could jump out of a gym and would go over or through defenders. It makes sense. They were both with enhanced human attributes and put in the work in the weight room to make their bodies as fit as humanly possible. It makes sense.

Curry doesn’t make sense.

It’s hard to explain how anyone can be that dominant, especially someone like him. Curry doesn’t make sense to the average basketball fan. He’s a hoops god amongst mere mortals like you and me. But even the best and brightest the world has to offer don’t quite get it either.

There’s been rumblings for a while now that someone needs to study Steph Curry and his DNA to get a better understanding of what makes him so great. Lead scientists in the United States had tried to comment on the Curry phenomenon, but they had no real answers. NASA, as shown above, wants to take a look at the MVP to see if anything in his body compares to anything on this planet.

The star point guard has become good friends with President Barack Obama, spending time together over the past year or so. The MVP and the POTUS have gone golfing and, it has been said, that the President was a little confused by Curry and his abilities. The Secret Service were told to be on high alert because no one is quite sure what Curry is.

Curry isn’t just volunteering himself to these strenuous circumstances, per se. Rather, the United Nations called a meeting and determined that as a citizen of this Earth, Curry must comply. Immediately after the postseason ends (whenever that may be for the Golden State Warriors), Curry will be flown to an undisclosed location where he will be put through various tests and examinations in hopes of getting a better picture of who or what he really is.

"I think Steph Curry is a Alien."

Scientists are believed to be working with two theories when taking a look at Curry: he’s the next stage in human evolution or he’s not of this planet at all. His extraterrestrial nature has been talked about, often in a joking manner, but has never been taken seriously. Until now. They hope his DNA will provide more insight.

If you haven’t figured it out by now, this is all completely bogus. If you made it to the end of this, I applaud you. If you didn’t, I hope Steph Curry abducts you in the middle of the night and crosses you over one thousand times in his lunar gym.

Happy April Fool’s Day! Go Warriors!